I recently had someone tell me that I am a “regeneration artist.” This could not be more true. I have gone through cycle after cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. I pour my heart into building something–a relationship, a career, a home–and then I let it all go and start over. I cry. I complain. I wonder why, but I know.
Each time I am reborn, I am one layer closer to my center. It’s true that I must sometimes shed places and people that I love. But I also shed fear and self-loathing and patterns that no longer serve me. I am at once nearly unrecognizable to my teenage self and within arm’s reach of what can only be described as my True Self.
And so I choose, and choose again, surrender. I surrender to the cleansing fire that burns my life to the ground and the green bud that curls up from the ashes. I choose to practice ishvara pranidhana, surrender to the Divine.